After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
