I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
