i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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