LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
