I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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