so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he quoted the bible to break up with me
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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