I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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