I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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