If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
