can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize