i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
