would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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