Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
