she peed on how many people?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
