Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
