So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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