To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
