I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
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I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
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Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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