He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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