Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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