I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
