yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
