Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize