Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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