How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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