he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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