I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
