I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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