After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
