Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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