This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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