I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
