My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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