Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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