i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
