remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
