Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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