You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
