hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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