i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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