White coat. Heels.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
