overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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