His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
