whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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