theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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