Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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