dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize