I got her a Nickelback box set.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
