wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
