can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
