I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize