But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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