2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
