Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
