it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just had sex bonerless
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
