Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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