I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize