Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i dont even know how to be here
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Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
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And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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