No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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