Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
