One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
