When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
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I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
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he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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